My friend and I were having one of those almost meaningful girlfriend/boyfriend conversations over lunch. We came to the conclusion that we were young but far from ready.
This is my highly exaggerated story but mostly true.
Person I really do not care about (PIRDNCA): Are you seeing someone?
Me: *be amicable*…No
So…I was hoping that PIRDNCA would take a hint from my short response and realise that I do not want to partake in this conversation…apparently there’s a loophole in that ‘short response theory’ and it was inapplicable here.
PIRDNCA: Oh no… *face falls* you’re a girl and you won’t be like that forever…you know?
Me: No, I actually don’t know, enlighten me *mind rolls eyes, and hopes that the sarcasm was registered*
PIRDNCA: See…the problem with girls today is that you are too ambitious. Take a look at yourself, you need to stay in one place, all this travelling should stop, don’t follow your dreams and come home and do business, meet a nice
young boy man, make a home and that’s the definition of a successful life, otherwise all that hair and fair skin will have gone to such terrible waste.
Me: *runs and sets self on fire* the woes of singlehood.
I had so much to say, but I have come to understand that sometimes, it’s going to take more than diagrams to make people understand that life is not and can not be the same for every individual.
Honestly, if I were to get a man-friend right now, it would be ALL for the wrong reasons… I can think of a few;
1. Just so I can blow up your instagrams with pictures of our matchy matchy shoes.
Lo and behold! If he were anything like Justin Timberlake (face and body)…you would all sentence yourselves to death because I would be a total nuisance.
2. Just so I can use this line when my friends accuse me of being addicted to my phone… ‘Guys…you know we PANIC when we don’t communicate every second’ *straight face*
I know, I am not ready for all that responsibility because I know who I am and what I am capable of…(you know those people who look sane but are far from it? Me neither *ahem*) but more than knowing me, I know that God has appointed in advance someone for everyone… (The definition for someone here varies, could be a best friend for life, a wife, a husband, a mother or father you never had…etc. that fills that ache you feel)
When the time is right and my maturity level is soaring high, maybe I will find my person, maybe I will not. Regardless of what the future holds, I know that it will be more than fine.
I have indeed wanted to write about this particular single-phase for a while but just never got around to it, but listening to Christine Caine’s podcast on ‘Single and savvy’ sort of gave me the much needed push to write this…
Single and Savvy (This message is paraphrased)
There’s going to come a day in your life when being single feels like carrying a heavy rock around your neck, when your close friends have rings put on them and you’re still on the dance floor convulsing to ‘all the single ladies’, when you have been a bridesmaid more times than your age, and when that day comes, it is going to suck. To make matters worse, everyone will be asking you, ‘when are you getting hitched?’
Worry not; it is possible to get over that phase (if you find yourself in that position). How? You ask. See, marriage is not the end goal in life…death is…and if you’re a believer like I am, you know that even death cannot stop you from being alive. So, if you are able to conquer death, then by all means if ever you find yourself in the ‘oh wow, 27 dresses’ situation, that too will be conquered.
Don’t go chasing rings; don’t hold off your dreams! Stop just waiting and move on with life, and at the right time whoever you’re waiting for will come…you’ve got to continue doing life…marriage is not the end goal…at least it shouldn’t be.
If your heart has reservations on a person, take your time with them. Do not end up with someone you might murder because society says ‘you must be married or you will bring shame on everyone’ (remember people are capable of bringing shame upon themselves without your assistance) don’t do things out of panic and sabotage your future. “Better to be lonely and single than lonely and married” (another situation that calls for setting fire on oneself)
People always say tone down your ambition, your search for God…perhaps then, you will be more approachable and less intimidating…*hmm…. let me ponder on that…yeah, you know what? Count me in as who cares! (Michael Scott)* If someone is intimidated by you and they want you to tone down it down a notch so you can be approachable, best believe that even when you tone down, it won’t be enough. You will most certainly lose yourself trying to impress people. That should be their struggle not yours. A man or woman should be confident and comfortable with whom they are so that they don’t have to compromise their standards. (At least that’s what I get from Nicholas Sparks’ movies)
No, I am no expert in this field at all. I do not claim to know it all. I would love for everyone to get married and be happy and eat ice cream but this is life and it is not going to happen for everyone, and if it does not happen…I want us to know that, LIFE. GOES. ON and we can still be excellent beings.