I write this on the hottest day of June, the first of many to come. The kind of heat that makes you sweat between your thighs. This kind of heat makes me think that we humans, both nice and bad people are all being punished for things we thought we had gotten away with. While I was standing, waiting to take the 5:20pm bus home, I saw this couple cuddling on the smallest bench imaginable. Next to them, an elderly man asking within himself why his space was invaded by these two mindless people. This bench takes two people comfortably and three people if you’re pushing it but preferably in the winter. The cuddle was initiated by the girl for she thought it cute to cuddle in the oppressive heat. Perhaps her boyfriend had committed a crime in his past life to suffer the cuddle, but I am not sure what kind of crime would give such severe punishment.
Oh friend, I went through some old emails the other day. Boredom will do that to you and satan will run with that and take you so deep in his initiative. Well, as the driver of the bus to the journey to the past was quickly shutting the door, courage didn’t fail me and I quickly got off that moving bus. The people in our pasts might bring a smile to our faces because of course we shared memories, but before you find yourself in the bucket of whys and why nots, it’s best to get off and leave things as they were. That’s where I found myself with these emails, and I quickly made a decision that what’s past is not something I would like to dwell on. I gave myself a pat on the back and told myself ‘yes, you chose well.’ Maybe some power lies in doing nothing if you find yourself unsure about something.
Our city had this early event in preparation for 4th of July. It was my first city event to attend. I’m always mostly away in the summer so you can only imagine how excited I was to attend one of these events. Immediately we got to the veterans park, my sister went off to do her fun things and left this ahjumma (Korean for old lady) on the bleachers.
I sat there taking it all in. The colours, the contagious happiness, the music (oldies), and the families. My dear friend, there are many important things in life and, I think family is up there in the important things. For example, every other 5-10 minutes my sister came back to the bleachers to make sure that I knew she was okay. She was also very certain that whenever she’d be back, she’d find me there. Seated. Waiting for her. What assurance! And perhaps it was the same for these families. Knowing that they didn’t have to celebrate alone, them being in this park together was what was special about an ordinary Saturday. I was in this park with my sister, and it felt good to exist in a big world knowing there’s someone out there on the swings who loves me and who I love infinitely.
Dear friend, I think it’s important to live in self reflection. Understanding our past, our behavioural patterns is what leads to maturity. Do not be afraid to look deep down in yourself because knowing yourself is your greatest weapon. No one will ever dictate to you their idea of who you are if you know yourself.
A few years back, I misunderstood a friend, and because my first instinct is to wall up or guard up when someone hurts me, I didn’t give that friend a chance to explain. In turn, I hurt that friend. I beat myself up for that for over a year, and as usual God knowing all, He provided an opportunity for me to sincerely apologise. I’m now left with only good memories of our friendship. I did not disappoint myself, I like the person I am, the kind of person who knows when they are wrong and ready to ask for forgiveness without pride. I like who I am in public and in private. How many of us can say that about ourselves?
Ah friend, I come to the end of this letter with these final thoughts on life. I think we should hold onto the warm memories the most. We should protect them for indeed some days we will need a reason to be happy, some days we will be down but those memories are what will bring us back up, some days we will feel alone but we’ll open an old email and smile and, most days we will need a place where we feel secure, and I hope dear friend, that you have a family (whatever family means to you) where you’ll always feel understood.
We are now stepping into the other half of our year and I am excited to see what God will do next in our lives and I pray that it will be months filled with only good things for you.
Your mind friend.