How do I feel about HEARTBREAKS and LOVE??? I could write ten thousand books on this topic alone but due to the high priority I give to my law essays, I will try and write just a little.
I will write from a girl’s perspective (these views are not universal).
Most great women we love and admire have a love story gone wrong and these great women are all the women in the world.
I think a heartbreak is a blessing in disguise. It gives you time to reinvent yourself and to fully understand your own mystery. Grieving time is there for a reason. It enables you to think about all the death threats you can issue, all the songs you can possibly write (bless Adele) and a grace period to look horrendous. Most people in our age group would rather die than profess their undying love/strong-like (call it whatever you want to call it) for each other. Is it shameful to love?Why is love associated with weakness?Is it because we are dying to be loved by a “special” person and because we are afraid of rejection we act all nonchalant and hardcore? There is no shame or regret in love and I think to love and to be loved in return is one of the nicest feelings ever and everyone should at least experience it in their life time.
Of course with beautiful things comes grave risks.Yes, loving might be a mistake but it’s worth making. Am not saying we should love stupidly like those Romeo and Juliet people but love sensibly like what is written in 1st Corinthians 13 . (My favourite Bible verse).
“Love is patient; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.
I am aware that love defies logic sometimes and we might go out of our way to do the most shameful things but I do not see anywhere in that chapter “love is death”. WARNING *Do NOT follow the steps of these people Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Paolo and Francesca. They all died because of love.*
How does one deal with a love gone wrong? I do not know but the answer is not in a sword, poison or bad hair. No one writes a manual for brokenhearted people. I am not going to be of much use either but I have my “powerful” pep talk that gets me through harsh situations that make my heart crumble.
My personal pep talk, ‘As women, we feel everything to the core of our hearts. We are like vampires with heightened emotions except we do not have the “switch off” option. So feel bitter if you want, feel disappointed, be dramatic about it all…BUT do not lose ‘you’ in the process and allow to heal. There’s more pain awaiting us on the other side at the age of 26 to 50 and it’s called child birth and from the videos I have watched, that’s got to be the most painful self inflicted experience ever! So a heartbreak is just a heartbreak, it might hurt for a while but it is bearable and time heals everything.’
I understand that love and heartbreaks are designed differently for every individual, and coping methods differ but as my mother says, “there’s no need to try so hard like your life depended on the other person’s existence. Fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else and when things go haywire, the love you have for yourself will be enough to get you moving”…she always ends with “If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be”.
Love hurts and that’s why people are so reluctant to get into it, digging invisible holes to hide their feelings as they approach and if you want to live like that, that’s perfectly alright. You’ll never fully experience loss or hurt because you’ve guarded your nonexistent “diamond mines” and maybe that’s a good thing. Right? I say when you feel the love for someone let yourself feel, if the other person feels the same even better…it really shouldn’t matter who says what, when and where because it is a personal experience. And when it hurts, and hurts real bad just remember that in the end you loved and open your heart for more possibilities of love and heartbreak.