It’s back to the cold and oh how I miss the sun. Guys, I am simply not made for the cold, my African bones shrink every time I step out of the house. There’s simply no jacket warm enough! Anyhow, I am excited to spend my first ever Christmas in New York, and as much as I don’t like the cold, a white Christmas, I will gladly welcome. Please snow on Christmas Eve. Thanks snow.
Alright guys, I asked and you voted. For everyone who has no idea what I’m talking about, I’ll catch you up.
I asked on insta-stories using that ‘vote’ button if you’d like me to write something about travel or life lessons.
And the results were;
Something about travel – 28%
Life lessons – 72%
Ah so democratic. Elect me as the leader of the free world. You asked and I delivered.
Alright, let’s get into it. You’ll probably need your tea, or read this while you soak because it’s going to be a long one. Also, I haven’t had a soak in months, tonight it’s going down. I got this wash from Crabtree & Evelyn (guys, Crabtree & Evelyn have the most chic packaging, I’m a sucker for packaging. Great packaging = have all my money)
Alright friends, without further ado.
- If you don’t already know this, you should know that a relationship with yourself is priority and it’s one of the most important relationships you can make.
- Self-love; I believe loving others comes from one being so in love with who they’ve been created to be that loving another person comes so easily, almost second nature. It’s not a competition between self-love and love for others. These can exist simultaneously and harmoniously.
- Give to people what they need or want not what you think they need or want. How do you do that? Listen and observe.
- Have compassion on yourself. When you have compassion on oneself, it’s easier to show grace to others.
- Don’t neglect yourself. Indulge once in a while. Get that body wash you’ve been eyeing. Get the perfume. Get the lipstick. Get the massage. Take yourself to the cinema, while you’re at it take yourself on a food date.
- Some days you’re going to feel lonely. Hug yourself.
- Cry it out. Don’t hold it in.
- Laugh. Laugh so hard till you cry.
- Know when you’re in the wrong, say sorry and be humble. Humility has got to be one of the sexiest things in a person.
- Hold your head high. ‘Chile’ you better hold it high even when you want to crawl in a hole. And even higher when the staff at ‘Barneys, New York’ looks at you like you’re in the wrong place.
- Have a vision for your life and, be proud of how far you’ve come. Tap yourself on your back. Okay?
- Protect your space. You have the key to the door of your life therefore you have the power to let people in, and the power to show them the door.
- You know, so many people wake up every Monday morning and utter these words, ‘I hate my job’. ‘Oh, it’s Monday, AGAIN, someone electrocute me!’ Here’s some perspective. Remember when you didn’t have a job and said so many untruths to get the job you have? Get your act together and work like you could go back to square one. If you don’t like your job then leave it. Don’t waste people’s time and most importantly don’t waste your own time. Go find what will bring you joy on Monday and do it well.
- Be faithful at work. Rewards may not necessarily be seen at work but in a few years, you’ll see those blessings in your life.
- Be that guy who goes the extra mile. I know you’re not getting paid for the extra mile but you just never know where that extra-ness will take you. Say no to being a basic employee. Why have they not made these t-shies yet?
- You don’t have to be bffs with everyone you work with. Us humans are difficult.
- Don’t take work problems at home. Home is your space to free your mind, to relax, and feed your pet. No work, unless if you’re self-employed then…
- You hate your boss and you think your boss is from hell? And, you might not be entirely wrong, I don’t know your boss. They legit could be from hell but try running a company where it’s not just about getting salary at the end of the month but keeping a company afloat. It is tough business. I know some bosses are excessive and they need exorcism and are abnormal but if you’re the lucky one and have been gifted (yes, gifted. I went there) with a normal boss, cut them some slack.
- No relationship on this earth will ever be as important as your relationship with God
- There’s so much comfort in the bible. Don’t let people interpret the bible for you. Read it, get guidance on it but come to your own understanding with the help of the Holy Spirit how the word can be applied to your life.
- Don’t underestimate the power of fasting and praying. It opens doors to many breakthroughs and breaks strongholds.
- Want to get close to God? Spend time with Him. Not 5 minutes. Time. The kind of time you’d invest in a new relationship. Get to know each other. Have dates with God. It is not creepy at all.
- Salvation is personal, build a relationship with God the way you would with a friend. Make your relationship personal. If God convicts you on something and you see someone else doing that same thing, it may not be their conviction. Don’t go throwing your personal convictions on everyone else.
- Be a relatable Christian. To be honest I don’t understand this greeting.
A senses a struggle in B’s life. A approaches B.
A: How are you?
B: I am blessed and highly favoured.
Okay. Good to know. Here’s why I have a problem with B’s response. Sister or brother, it’s okay to say when you’re not doing well. It won’t take away your favour or your blessings. Sharing our journeys both spiritual and physical helps us to find hope, find solutions, find comfort and strengthens us to keep on pushing on.
- I’ve also heard people say that they don’t want to be saved because it looks like misery. To be honest, I understand that because there was a time in my life where I had doubts about this salvation thing because it seemed to me that saved people did not smile. Apparently, saved people are always ashy, lips are always dry, clothes are not ironed. Ah ah. I don’t believe that’s the life Jesus died for. Represent your Heavenly Father, and I know God loves showing off in His children.
- There’s such a thing as spiritual battles. Learn about them and know how to fight for your life and your dreams.
- You never have to be afraid with God on your side. You never have to fear, or walk alone.
- On sinning. Don’t run away from God. Instead, get closer. Draw near. That’s when we need God’s grace the most.
- God isn’t an angry God waiting to punish us. He is love. The purest love that we will ever know.
ON FRIENDSHIPS (FRIENDS)
- There’s a lot of debate on what friendship is. And I guess it is a subjective matter. I’ve come to find that;
- Proximity doesn’t determine best friendship. There are friends so close to you who do absolutely nothing for you and in return you do nothing for them. And there are friends who you don’t WhatsApp every day, see every week but every single time you ‘link up’ it feels like you can go on for the next three years, motivated, rejuvenated, feeling loved, feeling understood. Keep those friends. Be there for those friends.
- ‘I love you’ let you friends know that.
- Don’t wait for birthdays to pour your heart out. Pour it out whenever you feel the need.
- You know what I’m over? Friends who send mixed messages. No one has time for that conf-rama (conflict & drama, hey Will & Grace) don’t be that person.
- Do you have shared friends? Two have fallen out of each other’s good graces? It’s not your business to pick a side or stir the pot. Leave it as it is. If you’ve given your advice to both, leave it to them to sort themselves out. Maybe they’ll remain friends, maybe they won’t but don’t be part of what makes the situation worse.
- Give forgiveness, accept forgiveness. Also, just because you’ve forgiven a friend it doesn’t mean you should go and braid each other’s hair. Know when a friendship has come to an end. Know when a friendship can be revived. How will you know? Your heart will tell you.
- Friendship isn’t by force. If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, then keep it moving. And, don’t take it personal. Some people just don’t gel well.
- Whoever chooses you or whoever you choose to be friends with, be genuine. Have a genuine heart.
- Be happy for the things that make your friends happy. Celebrate with them.
- Make many wonderful memories.
ON LOVESHIP (LOVERS)
- Love is a beautiful thing. Give it a chance.
- Have you been hurt by a lover before? Remember how it hurt? When you find someone, who is good to you. Be good to them too. Don’t make them pay for what your exes or ex-could have beens did to you.
- Be your own couple goals. Live in the reality of your relationship and not what Instagram says it should look like.
- Her happiness, his happiness. You’re not in charge of that. I think that’s a big burden to put on someone. I think when people in relationships are individually happy, together it’s magic. You can add to each other’s happiness but you are not solely responsible for the happiness of the other.
- Respect for one another is what keeps relationships going. How you talk to each other. How your fight. If it’s not done with respect, that’s a relationship that you should probably not be in.
- Support each other’s dreams and visions. Be each other’s cheerleaders. Believing in someone can take them further than they believe for themselves.
- Honesty is key. MAJOR. Silence is better than a lie.
- Don’t stop dating each other. Date each other when you’re married. Date each other when you have kids. Keep dating each other.
- Turns out men don’t read minds. Tell them why you’re mad.
- Put in the work. Don’t get lazy on each other.
Well friends, I will now go have a cup of tea and turn in. I hope you’ve had a wonderful year. I hope you’ve seen a glimpse of God’s heart in the people He has surrounded you with. I hope your heart is happy and not anxious. Should you find yourself anxious, remember that ‘everything passes.’
I wish you a merry Christmas and the best year yet!
Until next time.